Saturday, November 15, 2003 - Apache Junction, Arizona, USA


Do you enjoy having to lie about something? Being lesbian, gay or bisexual, we're often forced into lying by circumstance. If you've ever had to lie to your family, friends, boss, or co-workers about anything, you know what I mean. The feelings of guilt, shame and lack of self worth are enormous, especially for children. Being forced to lie robs us of our inner beauty and makes us feel wrong. It's a trap which often offers no way out for many of us.

Lying becomes a habit. Like any bad habit it can be difficult to break. If we ae used to lying, how easy is it to lie to ourselves and others about anything? This is a contributing factor to the inconstancies of our lifestyle. Sometimes it's very hard to believe the words, "I love you." There are demons of past experiences that plague us. These shadows take on many forms. They can be memories of things we've done or things done to us. They might even be manifestations of our fears.

What's the answer? Come out? Easier said than done in most cases. Some of us stay in because we're tired of being made to feel wrong. The arguments, the hate, the fear of us by others, it isn't worth it. While it does relieve the lying problem, it's often viewed as jumping from the frying pan into the fire.

Some fear the loss of a job. Especially in an employment climate where jobs are difficult to find. Yet think what it's like to work everyday in a place where you can't let anyone know who you really are? Where you can't have a picture of your partner on your desk or invite them to attend company functions. What does that do to the self esteem? Could the price you pay to stay in be too steep?

Most of the friends I have are out to everyone. Those who aren't are still suffering in their silence. Myself, I wouldn't be able to take it. If someone can't accept me for who I am, up theirs. I could care less if it was a mother, father, family member, employer, co-worker or whatever. I'm as good as anyone else and I can stand up and say that to anyone's face. I don't stick around where I'm not wanted. But I can empathize with those who must.

With some, the guilt, the plunging self esteem, the feelings of hatred by family, the fear of going it alone, it gets to be too much. Mistakenly, it seems the only way out is suicide. No one should be placed in a position like that simply because of their sexuality - something over which they have absolutely no control. No matter how you slice it, it isn't right.

©2003 Marcia Ellen "Happy" Beevre
# posted by Marcia Ellen @ 7:44 AM
(0) comments


Friday, November 14, 2003 - Apache Junction, Arizona, USA


I remember the first time.
She was sitting in front of me,
laughing with her friends.
She turned and looked at me.
Her eyes caught mine
and for a simple second
nothing else mattered
except the fact that she was there.
There with me.
Close enough for me to touch
had I been brave enough.

The feeling, that thing between us,
lasted four years until she moved away
and I never saw her again.
It was like she died.
When I heard she was gone,
I buried her within my heart
so I could bring her back
whenever I wanted to.
Whenever I needed her.

I learned later
that feeling, that thing,
it had a name ~

There were other times
that feeling, that thing
came upon me.
Not very often though.
Sometimes I thought it was there
but it wasn't.
The real thing was hard to find.
When it came it always surprised me.
Sometimes with boys, a man,
sometimes with girls, a woman.

The feeling, that thing,
it couldn't distinguish between sexes.
I didn't notice a difference.
It was always the same
while they were with me.
And when they were gone,

I cried like they had died
and buried them in my heart
so I could bring them back
whenever I wanted to.
Whenever I needed them.

Boy or girl,
man or woman,
the feeling, that thing,
it was the same ~

You've experienced it,
the feeling, that thing.
It has a name for you too ~

Am I really that different from you?

©2003 Marcia Ellen "Happy" Beevre
# posted by Marcia Ellen @ 7:24 AM
(0) comments


Thursday, November 13, 2003 - Apache Junction, Arizona, USA

Choice or Instinct ~ The Gay Gene

This is a controversial topic - whether gays are born that way or choose to be gay or bisexual. I know I chose to be a lesbian after being a bisexual for most of my life. However, was being bi a choice? I’ve liked both sexes as long as I can remember.

I understand that there are way too many people today who take no responsibility for who they are. They blame it on their parents, their teachers, their environment, or the mere fact of their birth. They can't consciously admit that they might have had anything to do with who they are as an adult. That's sad.

But do we truly choose our sexuality any more than we choose our race or our ethnic background? I've met many gay and bi woman who say, "They don't understand. When I was 5, I preferred to look at girls. There was more of an attraction there for me. I didn't choose it. It was just that way."

When I was 5, I would choose to wear shorts over dresses. I liked shorts better. They were more comfortable. If given the choice, I would eat ice cream over spinach. I liked ice cream better. It had an attraction for me. I could list a number of other choices I made based on attraction at that age or before. Why is it a big deal to say, "I feel more comfortable with women. I like the feel of a woman's body more than that of a man. I feel more fulfilled with a woman?"

But are these conscious choices or the unconscious following of an inner sense that stimulates the attraction? Studies from 1993 and 1995 pinpointed a specific genetic marker on the X chromosome linked to homosexuality in men. Yet, there are those who’ve downplayed the idea of a "gay gene." A team of researchers at the University of Western Ontario, say they have found no evidence of the gay gene. Is this just people looking to prove a predetermined conclusion? David Smith of the Human Rights Campaign states, "The vast majority of gays will tell you that same-sex orientation is an innate part of who you are and is not changeable."

The issue is, of course, if I chose to be a lesbian, I could choose not to be one. That doesn't hold up. I'm 28 and diabetic, yet I still won't choose spinach over ice cream. The same is true for me in choosing women over men. I know I couldn’t change it if I wanted to. Calling sexuality a choice is just a way to rob people of their basic human rights. Face it. How many people make the claim, "I choose to be straight?"

©2003 Marcia Ellen "Happy" Beevre
# posted by Marcia Ellen @ 7:10 AM
(0) comments


Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - Apache Junction, Arizona, USA


We had a gas crisis in Arizona two months back. The Arizona Republic was full of Letters to the Editor whining about price gougers. Over 600 people had written the Governor's office complaining about stations selling gas for over $3 a gallon and demanding she do something about it. Fat chance. We have a Repubo controlled state government but for once, they weren't to blame for the bickering.

Speaking of fat, it was all reminiscent of the folks who blamed the fast food industry for their chunky bodies. "They couldn't be satisfied selling us a cheeseburger. It had to be a double quarter pounder with cheese, and then meal deals that added supersized fries and drinks." Folks, the basic cheeseburger is still on the menu.

Our free market system is based on supply and demand and creating a need/greed. The former is simple. If there is a short supply of something and demand is high, you can charge a high price and your customers will pay. Creating need/greed is complicated but I'll explain it in tinker toy terms for any sheep who might be reading.

Remember the Beanie Baby craze? Did anyone NEED Beanie Babies? No. Ty marketed them by creating a need. They said they would make only a certain amount of each baby so it would soon become a collector's item. They even published books showing high prices for retired Beanies. (Prices no one would pay.) The sheep bought into it and stores had to limit purchases because people were lining up to buy Beanies as soon as they were introduced. The greed had set in. Hoarding began. Yet no one got rich on Beanies except Ty. Today you can buy hundreds at yard sales for a dime each.

Why were people waiting in line for gas at over $3 a gallon? Because they needed gas. They could have shopped around, phoned stations, found the best price in their area. I saw stations selling at $2.25. But people are creatures of habit. They wanted to buy gas where they always did, but the price was high, so they got angry at the people selling it at over $3. Yo sheep, if no one stopped there to buy, they'd lower their price.

To the fast food junkies - Who's holding a gun to your head? You get to choose what you eat and how you spend your money. If no one purchased meal deals, they'd disappear from the menu. The industry is supplying YOUR demand.

Start putting the blame where it belongs - on your own shoulders. Sheep buy into these things. Like Barnum said, "There's a sucker born every minute."

©2003 Marcia Ellen "Happy" Beevre
# posted by Marcia Ellen @ 6:57 AM
(0) comments


Tuesday, November 11, 2003 - Apache Junction, Arizona, USA


The dollar bill proclaims, "In God We Trust." But don't forget the "All Seeing Eye" pictured on the obverse side. Right wing conservatives point out that our country was founded on the strong personal religious beliefs of our Founding Fathers, men like Washington, Franklin, Adams, Hamilton, Jefferson, Madison, Paine, and Lincoln. While these men may have believed in a higher power, they certainly did not believe that religious ideology had any place in our Government. Consider the following quotes:

George Washington: "The United States should have a foundation free from the influence of Clergy."

Ben Franklin: "Lighthouses are more helpful than churches."

John Adams: "The Government of the United States is not in any sense founded on the Christian religion."

Alexander Hamilton: "No legislative act, contrary to the Constitution, can be valid."

Thomas Jefferson: "History furnishes no example of a priest ridden people maintaining a free civil government. Their political as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their own purpose."

James Madison: "And I have no doubt that every example will succeed in showing that religion and government will both exist in greater purity, the less they are mixed together."

Thomas Pain: "I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish church, by the Roman Church, by the Greek church, by the Turkish church, by the Protestant church, nor by any church that I know of."

Abe Lincoln: "The Bible is not my book, nor Christianity my profession."

Our founders understood that there MUST be separation between church and state because religion always accepts some and rejects others. Jefferson wrote, "Millions of innocent men, woman and children since the introduction of Christianity have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned; yet we have not advanced an inch toward uniformity. What has been the effect of coercion? To make one half of the world fools and the other half hypocrites."

Truth is, neither YOUR God nor MY God nor ANYONE ELSE'S God has a say in the government of America. That issue was settled in 1776, it's been supported by the Supreme Court, and what I've said was true then and it's STILL true today. So keep your God out of our Government. That's right. I'm an American. I could be asked someday to die for the country that I love. Don't expect me to live without the same human rights that you enjoy. If you believe I should, how can you call yourself an American?

©2003 Marcia Ellen "Happy" Beevre
# posted by Marcia Ellen @ 7:53 AM
(1) comments


Monday, November 10, 2003 - Apache Junction, Arizona, USA


The legality of gay marriage is a hot issue right now. Why? I have no idea. I've never been a huge part of the gay community. I'm not an activist. I really have a hard time understanding why this is such a freakin' concern to our state and federal governments.

I don't care if your mind is so feeble that you can't bring yourself to refer to the union of 2 men or 2 women as marriage, call it whatever you wish. But the fact is, if 2 men or 2 women love each other enough to make the same commitment to one another as a man and a woman, they deserve the same legal recognition by our government and employers as a straight couple. It's as simple as that. Not difficult, hey?

Do they think there is some difference between the love of two gay people for each other and 2 heterosexual people? Yes, gays have sex. So do straights. Yes, gays kiss and snuggle in public. So do straights. We giggle together, we dance together we cook and raise families together, just like you do. Is our love for each other really that different?

And don't give me BS about saving the "sanctity" of marriage. How sanctified was Clinton's marriage? I'm not downing Bill, I'm making a point. Gays divorce at about the same rate as heteros. People are still people. They find it hard to keep commitments. True for heteros, true for gays. But I know many gay couples that are just as committed to each other as their hetero counterparts. This is NOT a reason to deny us legal rights as a married couple.

So lets start using our heads out there. Denying gays their legal right to marry is just an act of bigotry. It's discrimination at its worst. It's immoral, it's unethical, it's plain stupid to continue doing this to citizens of our country. It promotes homophobia and gay bashing. So stop it. Okay?! Give gays the legal right to marry.

©2003 Marcia Ellen "Happy" Beevre
# posted by Marcia Ellen @ 9:42 AM
(0) comments


Sunday, November 09, 2003 - Apache Junction, Arizona, USA


The Arizona Republic ran an article on Teen Nudist Camps and how some elected officials intend to "investigate" them because there must be "children being exploited and in danger of sexual abuse."

Arizona Speaker of the House Jake Flake said he would encourage the county attorney to investigate Shangri La Ranch because. "I have to think they are breaking some laws somehow, indecency or something." Flake is joined by Flordia congressman Mark Foley in his quest to close the camps which must be full of "teenagers with passions running high and adrenaline flowing."

Cheers for Republic writer Karina Bland who visited Shangri La Ranch and reported accurately what the climate is like. "It was pretty mundane, with people sunbathing, playing cards and visiting on lawn chairs."

She spoke with the kids and found that they were happy with their bodies. They've grown up understanding they don't have to look like supermodels. The boys are comfortable around the girls, more so than boys in their schools who tend to be suggestive or goofy about things sexual.

Aside from camp activities, they offer seminars on positive body image, leadership and nudism. They help the kids build healthy attitudes toward their bodies, quite different from the Sex-Ed and Health classes that are greeted with snickers and giggles in High School.

Our elected leaders should have something better to do than concern themselves with camps that have had 0 complaints against them, 0 teen pregnancy incidents, and 0 incidents of child abuse on record. Are these old codgers projecting their own sexual beliefs onto something innocent of the lustful ideas which reside only within themselves?

Shame, on you both! Nudity does NOT equal sex! Mayhaps we should investigate your own sexual proclivities?

©2003 Marcia Ellen "Happy" Beevre
# posted by Marcia Ellen @ 5:30 PM
(1) comments


This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?