Monday, December 01, 2003 - Apache Junction, Arizona, USA


Guess what’s making a comeback, girls? Silicone breast implants! (Deafening applause.) Aren't women wondrous? We nip, we tuck, we implant, we liposuck. All this to enhance our seemingly pathetic femininity. Is that why we try to renovate our bodies as if they were an old car? Are silicone implants really the “cure” for small breasts? Geeze Louise, even the idea of A cups being viewed as some kind of disease freaks me out.

Eleven years ago, silicone was banned after many women testified about ruptures, replacements, and arthritis. Now, women want them back. “Men have the right to choose Viagra even if they have a risk of heart disease,” they say. “Women should have the right to make a choice like that about silicone implants.” The FDA in reviewing these requests is stumped in assessing the risks and benefits of bigger breasts.

In the battle against the “disease of small breasts,” enlargements, euphemistically referred to as “augmentations,” rose from 32,607 in 1992 to 225,818 last year. Implants are even a popular gift for high school graduates. Gag me. All this flies in the face of the fact that 20% of those who undergo cosmetic enlargements will need another operation for problems within three years, and we still have no idea about long-term troubles. It's like the warning on a pack of ciggies isn't enough for us either. More woman smoke now than men. Gawd!! How stupid are we?

Why do women choose to take such risks? We have been taught to feel badly about our bodies from little on up. Small breasts are a disease. We're told that men get impotence because their wives have small breasts. Male “experts” define what we should or should not look like. Why? Because we women encourage them to do it.

I think the makeover that we need is with our thinking. I’d say the same for men, but we really can’t control their thinking the way they control ours. If men tend to think with their penises, women tend to think with their hearts. It’s better to be loved for who you are than for some medically enhanced image that will only fade with age, bring on back problems and who knows what else. Girls. You're sexuality is NOT defined by the size of your boobs! I hate to say this, but if your hubby can't get turned on by the site of your naked body it's time to cut and run. HE's forked up, not you. And getting implants isn't going to change that.

I can ALMOST understad it if you're working in showbusiness. Those people are all screwed up anyway. Hollywood wants everyone to believe that the only desirable woman is one that's very young, thin, and has tits to kill. They'd also prefer us to be willing to do ANYTHING to get a man, including debase ourselves every chance we get to attract them. This is because most producers are old, fat, balding men with little dicks who like to think they attract these kind of women. In their dreams.

The FDA okayed the return of silicon implants by a vote of 9-6. One doesn’t have to wonder about the gender of the voters.

©2003 Marcia Ellen "Happy" Beevre
# posted by Marcia Ellen @ 9:18 AM
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